The Postpaid Samurai: Chapter One

In a world where prepaid phone plans were the norm, there was a lone salesman who traveled the land, offering a different kind of service: postpaid plans.

He was determined to save people from the hidden fees and lack of flexibility that came with prepaid options.

He was a rugged individual, much like a cowboy, or jacked FedEx driver. And, he carried with him a sword that he had inherited from his father. The sword was special, it had a unique ability, it would ring when a person that's trying to sell prepaid phone plans was nearby. It was.... The 7G Sword. Said to be so powerful, even the God's feared it it's upstream download speeds...

So the rumor's went anyway..

As Paid traveled super chill like from town to town, the 7G Sword would ring, guiding him to those in need of his services. He would draw his sword and make his pitch, offering a fair and transparent postpaid plan that gave people the freedom to change their plans as their needs changed. The townspeople who met him were hesitant at first, but as they learned about the benefits of postpaid plans, they were won over. Word of the "Postpaid Samurai" began to spread, and more and more people sought him out for his services.

The PostPaid Samurai, who was called Paid by by a few of the locals that had been saved from their spotty ass coverage, was frequently ambushed by PrePaid Ninja of the TracFune Clan. They would fight to the death to keep their corrupt signal in the air. And our Samurai was happy to assist them with that. They had gotten pretty close on occasion. Till their signal dropped....

Yea, they dropped that call. Permanently.

It be like this..

The prepaid phone companies didn't like the competition, and they sent their own salesman to take him down. These were no ninja....I mean some of these bums couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag... It was their numbers and their message that worried him...

The PrePaid Ninja though.. somebody was sending them, somebody with money. And power. And apparently, excellent spies. They always seemed to know exactly where Paid was going to be.... It never made a difference, it always ended the same.. lots of blood and not enough data left to order roses for the misguided fool's funerals. What a waste of spectrum....

But still, Paid wondered how they, whoever they was, seemed so adept at locating him.

He thought about it as he walked into the local tavern. An obviously inebriated man swaggered his way. "Oh geez... Whatever" thought Paid, just as his inhuman reflexes shot into play. The swaggering fool had his cache cleaned without causing Paid to lose a single step. Dazed, he slumped into a corner. 'His restart time would be outrageous the next morning', thought Paid as he took over the bums drink. He wasn't gonna need it.

A few hours later, he left that swill house. It was filled with Mint Mobile type's. The kind of people you couldn't help but despise. Made him sick.

Though that could have been the suspicious looking liquid the bartender called Scotch....

It was whatever.

PostPaid was about to cross over the beautiful little bridge that spanned the river, both sides peppered with plum trees, their delicate blossom's falling occasionally into the moonlit waters below. He took his first step into the bridge, when his sword began a familiar buzzing. A second later came the ring tone that none had ever heard and yet lived. "Hello, Moto".

He took a mental note reminding himself that it was time to upgrade his swords Zedge account....Hello Moto?.... Really?

A second later, from all directions, they appeared... The TracFune Clan. Decked out in what looked like knockoff Jordan's.

Paid didn't like counterfeits. Especially fake ass Jordans. They wanted to f*** around, and now they were bout to find out.

All at once they lept towards him. Was this batch a bit more sluggish than the last? Who cares, thought Paid... as his legendary blade began popping SIM cards at a speed usually reserved for fiber.

These fools would never send another late SMS again. "Pay As You Go....", mumbled the samurai as he continued across the bridge.

A smile crawled across his usually stone like features.."Well, one outa two isn't bad... For a prepaid bum," chortled the heroic looking Paid in a voice loud enough only for him to hear.

He was victorious. Again. And, having emerged victorious, he had saved the people of the land from the clutches of prepaid phone plans and the almost dangerous thug's who pushed them. For another day at least...

He walked. It's what he did. Looking hella savage, he let his feet pick the path. Trouble lay ahead. It always would, while the PrePaid barons were allowed to broadcast their limp wristed signal...

So he walked. And he continues to wander the land, offering his services to those in need, a true cowboy, an honorary lumberjack, a legit, shot calling Samurai ...of postpaid phone plans.

Stay tuned. If your carrier is up to it..